Oh good grief!

Death. Not something you'd put on your to do list. But something that is going to happen, to all of us at one point. Such a scary thought, to imagine your loved ones pass away or you yourself be wiped away from this Earth. Ahh, not something I'm looking forward to at least not until after, I've become a successful business woman, found true love, and had a family;) Yup, I',m sure everyone has experienced a death in there family, or friends. It's not a good feeling. Every time I hear an ambulance, I stop and think oh no, I hope eveything is okay. I hope no one is hurt=( I can't even begin to think how awful it would feel if it happened to someon in my family. And it did. I didnt get all the deets. But I know he is in critical condition. It's not fair he's so young, and has his whole life ahead of him. Last month my grandmother passed away, after battling stomach cancer i beleive. Oh it was just awful, such a sweet, loving caring woman. Everybody loved her. Sometimes I just think why God let this happen to her, such a terrible and painful disease to give her. What bad thing did she ever do to deserve it. Like bad things happen to the good people. Well I hope that's not true. I suppose God has a plan for all of us. It's up to the big man to decide our future's. I just hope he takes into consideration those that are good people, and do value life and goes easy on them. It's up to us as well how we want to live our lifes.
Well I could ramble on for hours! lol;) But it's nighty night.
Time to pray for my loved ones.=] goodnight!

Siblings children. . .

Ughhh!!! I am completely filled with rage. Yet again, I must babysit my niece. don't get me wrong I love that kid to death! But she's just annoyin to take care of. Just turned a year, and she's as spoiled as ever. She's my sister's daughter, and this whole winter break i've been babysitting her. Two weeks!!!! and it's pretty much all day. from 6:30 to 2:30 that's when my mom gets off work. But even then I'm still the one watching her, because my mother supposedly has things to do around the house. . . !!!!!! Until around 7:30 when her mom gets home. EVEN THEN, she's so tired that i have to keep watching her. So for another two hours she stays and relaxes around the house while i yet again must take care of the baby!!!!!! UGHHHHHH!! It's not fair that I must give up my xmas break, on nothing but BABYSITTING.

I'm 17 I'm supposed to be out and about with my friends. But no, I've hardly even talked to my friends or my boyfriend. I haven't done anything these whole two weeks. I went to the store probably like twice. So i've been in my house like 24/7. Like a dang prisoner! And to make me just about wanna cry, I'm not getting anything for this? No money no nothing. =( Apparently before my sister had her baby she always bought me stuff when we'd hang out and this is just my way of paying her back. I've babysat that kid since she was 2 months. I'm pretty sure I've already payed her back, possibly even went over. And my sister has the nerve to come home and say I didnt care of her right. =P

The practical side of me is like it's okay, it's practice for when I have kids. But pshh! I'm sick of always being the one babysitting. i probably watch her more than her own parents do. They just act like lazy bums all day. Immature lazy bums!

The other side of me, just wants to get out!! . . . Out of this house and out of this life. My social life is terribly suffering because of this=( Everytime someone asks me to hang out or something I can't because what am I doing? The same thing i do everyday. So once school starts, I don't even care if I get in trouble, I am going out everyday after school and staying out late too. Well, it's late. Nighty night.

Dream, dream, dream

Ohh, the dreams you come across. Some extememly wild and just completely wacky, some scary, or some super hilarious! I've had some memorable dreams. lol.. there's been the dinosoar dream, as I call it. Where a dinosoar, t-rex to be exact, was chasing me through a house. I was running, and closing all the doors behind me as it chased me throughout this house? lol. then to defend myself I threw oranges at it! Odd. haha

Then I had one where my mom, sister and me were walking behind our church, from across the street I could see a cop aiming a gun at a guy with a rifle! anyways, i ducked down by a car, immediately pulled my sister with me but where was my mother? She was standing there on the phone! So I went and pulled her behind the car, around then I literally heard the rifle shot. That was when I woke up. I woke up immediately sitting . It was wierd. lol

Then oh my, my most recent memorable dream. Was pretty scary to be honest, well for me anyways. I can't quite get the details correct anymore, becuz it was a couple weeks ago, but i remember I looked out the living room window, and saw a guy pushing what looked like a freezer down the road. With him was a little boy also carrying a rifle. Hmm, rifles in two different dreams wierd. lol. well somewhere I heard that those two people were going house to house killing people. Keeping them in those freezers or just eating them? For some odd reason they had skipped our house but we were getting ready to pack up and leave to some other city or something. But then the two came back and apparently they had taken over the house next door. the houses are separated by like 2 acres of land so there not literally next door. But anyways, they had a loudspeaker and said something like we know everything about you, if you leave we'll still find you. Then they sent these things flying through the air, it was papers, envelopes, letters, and they all landed coincidently right in the doorway. anyways, i remember i was determined to kill these guys before they slaughtered any more people. So, i dunno, somehow I found some stuff to create a rocket type thing, missiles, guns. lol. I'm not sure, what happened next cuz then my alarm clock went off! Of course these dreams are probably triggered from watching so much tv before i go to sleep. not just any tv, but csi, criminal minds, numbers, ya know all those crime shows. haha.

To tell a lie is

Isn't it amazing how some people lie so easily. Like they lie right to your face, yet you don't want to tell them you know the truth. They lie in order to keep there secrets. Everybody lies. There probably isn't a single soul in the world that hasn't lied, or bluffed, or fibbed or whatever you want to call it. Being lied to is sad. It hurts. I was recently lied to by a guy. A ginormous secret, that I would obviously evenutally found out. But he lied right to me when confronted by it. But by not telling him that I already knew, I was lying too. I just can't beleive the extent to which lying takes you. There's so many reasons for it. But what would we do without lying. In a way it's good. If we were honest all the time, we'd be upsetting everyone we come across. But nevertheless, it's a discraceful thing. It's as tempting as a chocolate bar on halloween night! We must lie to save ourselves from the shame, or embarassment in front of others. Anyway that guy has yet to tell me the truth, even though it's so evident now. We both had some extreme lies. I shall leave it at that with him. I hardly knew him, he was simply a mere makeout buddy in my life, and will never be anything else. So good-bye to you!